For a long time now, this empty feeling has been eating up all my insides
Just like the plague.
I constantly ask myself.
What exactly is it that I am looking for?
I mean, everyone has that dream of "happily ever after" with that one "true love"
Does that even exist?
On some days I believe in that very strongly
Other days I think its the greatest lie and conspiracy created by man.
In all honesty, who the fuck would love me?
Not to say that I think I am incapable of being loved but rather who would I love that would love me in return.
Without all the drama
Without another girl constantly getting in the way
Without the jealousy
Without the gut wrenching pain of doubt
While containing ones self
While not having to change any "flaw" in your personality
Without the judgments of who you are
Of Who I Am
A couple of close friends said jokingly once that anybody who would date me is screwed up in the head.
Of course I took it as a joke.
But it does ring quite a bit of truth.
I mean, its not insulting in the least,
Since I doubt that I would even be able to uphold a conversation with someone who wasn't damaged.
But is that what I am really destined for? Someone who will no doubt be of some sort of trouble.
Like Me....?
But what I do NOT understand is that I am not and incredibly picky girl.
There are alot of traits in a person that I am attracted to.
But there has yet to be a person who fits the description of what I am really looking for.
But he has to exist out there somewhere....
Doesn't he?
Maybe not at the moment....
Maybe Never.
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