Wednesday, July 20, 2011

An Important Message that Should be Spread, Every day of your Life

Whilst going through the videos of the many people I am subscribed to on Youtube,
I came across this video.
This Youtuber is one whom I have closely followed for a little while now, both on Youtube and on DeviantArt.
A truly beautiful soul, but like with many beautiful souls, there is a painful story which made them who they are today.
This person has fought for equality and spread his message about the importance of acceptance among everyone, despite which community they identify with, despite how they were born, despite how they look, for many years now.
He in fact identifies as being a transgendered individual,
and he is a fantastic and intelligent individual.
I think every one of us has gone through it, that is, being judged by the way we look, instead of being given the chance to prove to others that there is an infinite amount that they cannot see with their eyes.
I, just like many others, was tormented for attempting to express myself.
Locked in bathrooms, food thrown at me, tripped in hallways, threatening notes shoved in my locker,
and why?
Well, I started to wear blue lipstick around campus in the 6th grade as well as pairing up my plain white and blue uniform with fishnets.
But...this cannot ever measure up to the story this individual tells of another.
Because unlike me, who could have simply worn normal clothes and normal makeup, he could have never changed the way he was shaped without agony and expenses.

These horror stories, these judgmental people, and the people who are victimized, are the people we should be more aware of in our daily lives.
I know that sometimes, it is very difficult to not be hypocritical,
but hold your tongue before you judge, because I bet you wouldn't survive a mile in their shoes.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

Give Up

I think all of us at one point of our lives or another have been attacked with this feeling.
"Just give up"
Whether we want to give up or not is beside the point.
The problem can be big or small, complicated or simple, but when things become too much for a person
that temptation always starts whispering promises full of seduction for when you do give up.
Lately the feeling of stress has been overwhelming and taking up too much of my time.
I can't sit down at the piano and play, nor can I even uphold a normal conversation.
All the while I am trying to pull myself out of this thinking "What's wrong with you? Do something about it"
Yet my body won't let me.
I feel as though this is what it kinda feels like to be going through a very slow stroke.
I feel as if I am losing control of what I say, or even what I want to say.
My ability to get out bed in the mornings has diminished, and my ability to stay awake during the day is pathetic.
All the while that tempting suggestion is whispering like clockwork.
Every minute, every time I find something difficult, every time I don't want to deal with something.
"Just give up"

The stress is coming from a number of things, both internal and external and it has become too problematic for me to express them all at once.
It feels as if my brain has been scrambled up and served on a platter.
The only thing I even know what to do is go through a daily routine at this point.
Probably the reason why I am trying to write things down.
Even thinking of expressing myself in words is a bit difficult at the moment, but I'm forcing myself to the best I can.
I'm not sure, but I think I have an issue.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Innocent Love


I decided to post this video as the result of a thought from today.
I was listening to a band whom I haven't listened to for a long time and now I realize why.
I could relate back then, to every lyric, to every song, to every emotion.
Now all of it seems childish.

Why is it that even when the situation isn't the greatest, that you still feel so much emotion towards your first love? Why is it that they could treat you horribly, and still you lay at their feet practically worshiping them?
Why is the above song viewed as such an ideal version of love?
Why is that first time, innocent love, is always sought after, even though it ends in being extremely unhealthy for your emotional well-being?

Sometimes I wish that I could feel the way that song describes for another person as I once did.
Such strong emotions, the willingness to give up your life for a person because you "love" them so much.
But now looking back at it, that isn't love. 
Love isn't sacrificing yourself for another.
Many people view Romeo and Juliet as the classic love story,
But it isn't in the slightest, in fact it is categorized as a tragedy.
I no longer understand how people could possibly feel the way this song describes.
To me, that is just stupidity.
Yet,
After our fist loves, don't we all seek out something that felt just as strong, and then attempt to fool ourselves into believing that we feel even more for the people after our first loves?
Why is it that we long to revert into our childish selves?
"Love"
It's a feeling, a great feeling, but more often than not it leads us into hurt and stupidity like my prior relationship did.
After our first loves....I think we are all better off looking for something that is instead, logical.
We know we can't revert back to those childish emotions, so why not journey into future relationships with a logical mindset, because in all honesty
being logical about a situation can cause just as much happiness, without as much hurt.
At least that's how I have come to view it.