Friends...

So its 1:30 in the morning

My ex contacted me today in the afternoon asking if I was alright.

I said yeah

he said, you sure?

I said yup, but who knows maybe something will happen tonight.

He said, yeah i either get there right when it happens

....or know when something is about to happen

either way I wanted to make sure you were alright.

Once again he was right.

A shit load of time later. 

My best friend. The only girl actually keeping me from falling into a complete darkness that would consume and horrendously murder me if it got the chance.

Is at the moment in an ambulance on her way to the hospital.

Attempted suicide.

Fuck.

This isn't her first attempt.

But it has been the only one serious enough to land her in a hospital

which means trouble.

because all of the other attempts should have killed her

yet she lived

without going to a hospital

you see the fact that she is even in an ambulance right now.

Being shipped off to the looney bin soon

Just as I was on several occassions for the same reason so many years ago.

Its a scary thought.

She has always been so much stronger than me.

And now the foundation of which my last bit of sanity was set upon.

.........has been shattered.

please...

be your logical self and find some reason to stay here.

Because you are the only logic I have

and without you I will surely rot