The official "dating" someone is a go.
But a little background history.
There has been someone who's been on my mind on and off for the past couple of years now.
Somehow just through instant messengers and texts we were able to connect so well
this silly boy and I.
Then when we were finally able to see eachother on a screen the feelings developed even more.
There are a few main problems with this though.
Although are feelings for eachother are very obvious and pretty consistent....
He was engaged and now is in an "open relationship" because of me
and I feel slightly guilty for that fact.
But also,
Silly me had to become attracted to someone who lives in New Jersey.
(Mind you, this is the only male that I have EVER truly been attracted to)
He has been claiming that he is moving out of there for as long as I have been interacting with him.
For some reason I got my hopes up for the longest time and after many delays and everything I just sort of started to give up.
To try to put him out of mind.
Because the likeliness of he and I ever getting together, if even for a date,
were pretty slim to none.
Now. Onto this new person.
He is a ghost from the past, a person I did not know very well back in the day when we would walk by eachother every day.
I was in a relationship back then
and he was just well....immature for my tastes ha.
Back then I admit to being a little stuck up and thought the dorky immature jokey type of people were beneath me in a way and did not go out of my way in order to interact with them. Ever.
But as of pretty recently we started talking again by means of the internet.
Funny thing is we did not know who one another were until a few messages back and forth.
You see he has changed pretty drastically in his looks O_o
Now I shall admit that there is a little bit of an attraction there.
I did not want to jump into any sort of relationship so we stayed friends for months.
Now we are "dating"
(although it has yet to become anything seemingly more than a close friendship which I am alright with)
But then OH HEY New Jersey guy texts me this morning going
"Oh hey guess what?!??! i am moving to Cali! See you in three weeks <3"
*facepalm*
I would get into a situation such as this.
Once again my ever racing mind switches between the pros and cons of both persons.
Pros...cons....pros...cons...pros...cons....pros.....cons....pros....cons....pros....cons....
pros...
cons....
pros....
cons....
pros....
cons...
back and forth, back and forth ,back and forth.
And more so than usual so this is really starting to give me a headache.
Am I really so selfish to want both of them close to me without a relationship?
and then see my interactions with both and base who should get the title of
"I am in a relationship with him"
ugh I feel as if this is starting to become a bit similar to that of a game show
Date the Crazy! Whoever Needs the Most Psychological Help Wins the Girl!
no. haha. but its a funny thought.
Speaking technically.
Jersey guy.
Has a minimum wage job.
Does not go to school.
Is a heavy smoker.
And cannot for the life of him stay in a dedicated relationship for very long from what I have witnessed.
But the attraction is overwhelming.
Ghost from the past.
Enrolled in school,
actually wants to do something with his life.
Has been a fantastic friend.
A little socially inept but hey that can always be fixed with time.
And there is a slight attraction there. But there is just something about him that I am not completely sure of.
As if something is missing and I just dont know what.
Hopefully I am over thinking this.
Because the logical and obvious choice is my ghost from the past.
But only time will tell how any of this turns out. I hope that somehow we all end up happy.
and whats also very strange is that I connect songs to people. And I equally think of both of them in a romantic sense when I hear this song.
very strange considering I have NEVER connected more than one person to a single song.
Very confusing indeed.
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