What just happened?

I need an outlet

Something

To set up my mind in a cage

Lovely containment

But no

No bars are thick enough

Everything seeps through and through...

Through and through and through and.....

Please! Give me back to myself

I need to know who I am....who I could be.

I never could imagine it. You never let me in...

Please say I will get better

When everything is hopeless

Once everyone is gone.....

I need an outlet.

I don't want your comforting touch!

Or that sweet smile, or even that

Deep forest behind your eyes.

I don't want your love!

but please...never leave.........

All I itch for is an object to attack.

I never wanted you to be the one getting hurt.

Give me back? 

So that I may be okay when you leave?

.....Never.

They all leave......physically they disappear.

But....I know you can't leave my soul. 

So sick....I'm branded....

It burns.......

Fuck......

9~27~10

I don't quite remember what was going on while I was writing this.

But all I know is that I was not aware of what I was writing.

It still bugs me that even though I am the one who wrote this in a frantic state with nothing else to turn to....I still do not know what it actually means.

When I am having a mental breakdown the words just flow, and come out as a sort of code to what is driving me to insanity.

The underlying reasons....

My father? Past relationships? My friend? Even myself?

It is almost as if I am my own riddle...

I've always sucked at riddles