Better Off

Happy Holidays and all that good stuff!

The holidays have always been an odd time of the year for me.

In years past I have felt like the black sheep of the family;

I was socially awkward, quiet, and no one was ever quite sure of what to get me, so I often got gifts from family members that were meant to influence me to dress differently.
Although I am more open-minded and try not to wear so much black nowadays, I never was, or ever will wear something from Abercrombie. Haha. 

So for once, my family was dead on with my changing style this year haha

but that's not the thing I am most happy about.

This year, I genuinely feel like a better person, and I feel like I don't have anyone holding me down.

I participated in games with my family, and talked, and genuinely got along with my extended family.

I never did before, mainly because they are all very latin, and well....my mom and I are extremely white-washed haha.

Notice the skin tone difference? Haha

This winter vacation hasn't been the most productive, but it has been really fun.

I feel as if my friends and I have just become BETTER friends after there was some exclusion of drama causing factors from our lives.

Sometimes you just have to, especially if you know that nothing you do or say will make things better, and will probably just make things worse.

A person can keep fighting for something but if giving up makes both parties happier in the long run, and this is something you know FOR SURE, well then, we are all fucking idiots for not giving up sooner haha.
Sometimes giving up makes you feel like the king of the world, sometimes getting to the finish line ruins your life.

Either way, I am happier this time around during the Holidays.

I have my friends

Like Super Modelesque Sammi here, and her accidental "I'm better than you" pose haha

She is my wesbian, that is all.

and my beautiful mommy on the right, who's asianess shows when she is laughing haha.

I have my wonderful co-workers who I get to mess around with and play pranks on.

I am especially grateful to be working with them and for a company where I make about 1,300 a month (WOOT)

They've basically become my new extended family.

This was at the holiday party we had in the back room, it was a dessert potluck!

Oh god.....

This guy right here. Hahaha I just noticed his face.

and then Amy with her utensils in her mouth haha

Anyhow. I plan to be working with the company all throughout school. It's hard work but I know I can pull it off.

Which brings me to another thing I am grateful for.

The strength I've developed as a person.

If this year had happened when I was in my early highschool years,

I would have been pushed around, and not have been able to handle some of the things that have happened this year.

But now I'm strong enough to stand up for what I believe in, not what others believe in,

and also have gained the ability to limit myself when it is necessary.
I still have a long way to go, as does everyone else, since we are creatures who are constantly learning, but my family has told me how proud they are of me for all that I've accomplished this past year. 

I have a lot to be proud of that has happened. 

I bought my own car with my own money, without any help.

I maintained over a 3.7 even while working 40 hours a week

I got people Christmas gifts that I knew they would like! I loved that feeling. I finally felt like I wasn't so broke and that I could afford to buy people things that they would like. 

I've taken more time out of my busy schedule for my family, AND for my friends, which was the best move ever. I don't care if I procrastinate, I know I will get it done because I have to, but seeing my friends in between really takes my mind off of stress, which is a really hard thing to do for me. I seem to always be caught up in due dates and end up putting my social life on the backburner, but I've found a good balancing point and that is something I can be proud of because I've never been able to accomplish that before.

I've made around 500 in sales with my jewelry (still can't say that word though -_-)

and I feel as if I can more wholly embrace myself and who I am

me looking super 80's and lesbian-ish haha

2 girls have given me their numbers with my new found confidence...yes I am bragging hahaha

wow this was kind of all over the place. My mind does indeed wander. 

But! A shout out to a good friend! You know who you are!

 because you gave me these! A beautiful steampunk key! And PIRATE underwear!

Along with a very pretty glittery rose and a sticker from one of the lovely crumpets!

Thank-you! I hope your gifts come in the mail soon!

Anyhow, happy holidays! 

I'm going to go enjoy some holiday candy!

<3